Dear Ana by I.I.E (Possible Spoilers)

Good morning, afternoon, evening to whoever has decided to stop by this post!

Truthfully, I never wanted to review books, I'm not going to lie to you. Book reviews have such a different vibe to anything I've written before. Obviously they are purely subjective, and everyone has an opinion on the books they read, but after reading hundreds of books (literally almost 370 in just 2024), I feel like maybe some of you would like to see some of the books I read and the thought process I have after finishing said books. I won't be doing all of them, simply because there are too many and I'd spend even more time sitting at my computer contemplating the books I force myself to finish, but thought it might be fun!

I'm used to writing my own thoughts, feelings and life experiences, BUT I felt the call to start writing reviews because I wish I could find these kind of reviews. This will be my first, so please be kind (LOL).

I started Dear Ana by I.I.E in early 2024. I don't really remember how I acquired the book, just that I had downloaded it and read the first 47 pages, before deciding I wasn't ready for this book. At the time, I was chasing the high of finding lost love and happiness in the books I was reading. I wasn't happy when I cracked this book and decided it was "just too sad". I knew this book would go deeper than what I wanted to read at the time, and boy was I right. The twists and turns, thoughts and feelings and super ending really would have pushed and pulled me into the hole I was building at this time of my life.

Nevertheless, Tik Tok loves to drag me down it's rabbit holes and there are thousands of book recommendations. I've started to scroll past so many because there are just too many or I've already read the books that pop up (my FBI agent is really slow or likes to break my heart and remind me of the books that I just read). But I found this on my FYP and forgot I had ever even started it, so I redownloaded this book last night, and decided to pick up right where I left off, page 47. I an fortunate to have an amazing memory and could remember what I read last year within a couple of chapters and scrolled a little through the beginning.

I unlocked a world I wasn't ready for, and according to many other reviews and comments, I'm not sure anyone was ready for the words that splayed across those pages. I don't cry a lot in real life, but for some reason find myself SOBBING at books at least once a week. This book, was unfortunately (not sure that's a bad thing?) another one that caused me to need a tissue.

Let me paint you a picture of me this morning as I finished the last chapter walking INTO WORK bright and early:

The third to last chapter (locking my car and walking to my building): Wow, I'm so glad this book is ending like this and the FMC learns how to heal and I'm just so glad I picked up this book again.

Slowly creeping towards the front door of work...

The second to last chapter (opened the door, said hello to my coworker, knows I barely have time to finish said book, clock is ticking and I'm running out of time): OMG YES finally the thing I've been waiting for is happening!!! WAIT WAIT WAIT what? No, this wouldn't happen at the end of the book when there isn't a second one, RIGHT?

Staring at my coworker and back down at the book...then back up.....because there's no way

The last chapter: THERE IS NO WAY!!!!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS AND ALL THE ANSWERS BUT THERE'S NO WAY!!! The audacity to do this to me and my feelings

Clocking into work half aware of my surroundings, dazed and confused...

Safe to say, I should have put the book down when I got out of my car, but as these go on you'll realize I NEVER put the book down when I should. I never learn my lesson, and yet I'm never actually upset about the lack of sleep and dazed way I walk around after some of these books.

Truthfully: this book was written with so much love and care for the characters. It's written for a lot of people. People who suffer abuse (especially those who suffer from sibling abuse), trauma, pressure from every angle around, and those who don't know how to heal.

We get a glimpse at how the FMC learns to heal after so many years of suffering. We get to hear the backstories of how the world is so so small, yet huge. We learn of heartbreak and suffering, resilience and finding happiness even when we don't know how to take the next step. We get to see a MMC find peace in a place he never thought he would and a FMC go from abuse, trauma and pain to happiness and learning to heal and love herself.

Here's the bad news (AND WHERE THE BIG SPOILERS ARE- I won't tell you what happens specifically because I want you to read the book, but you'll know how the book will end~ish)

Our FMC, Maya, and our MMC, Noah, do not get their happily ever after. The trauma of life seems to finally catch up to these two. Without giving too much away, I'll say the ending is so heartbreakingly beautiful and fits the characters so well, even if I wish it didn't and couldn't end like this. These characters dug deep in me and I think I'll be thinking about this book for many months, if not years, in the future.

I.I.E is an amazing author who brought thoughts I've had over the years to words on a page I can always go back and stare at. I fell in love with these characters like they fell in love with each other, super fast and quietly. I related to both characters in more than one way, and yet loved how the highs and lows made me question everything. I loved looking back at my own life and seeing how trauma and grief can affect a person and the trajectory of their life. So while I hate the way this book had to end, I thank I.I.E for staying the course and giving the ending that no one wanted but the readers needed to understand the weight of who these characters were.

Anyway, there's my review. I did my absolute best to not give much away, and since this is my first one, I know I need to read more and find a way to give more plot line without spoiling anything. I'll be back with another book soon (especially since I read one like every day)!

As always,

Love,

Tori