How to balance school, work, life and a relationship

Hello and welcome! I’m Tori and I am very open about my experiences and how I live my life battling mental illness, Type One Diabetes, and being a young adult in this crazy world.

As many of you know I work 40 hours a week at my job, am a full time as a college student, I run a college club, run several social media accounts, have a healthy relationship, and am going to school to get my CNA license (Certified Nursing Assistant). The one question I get asked all the time, and I mean by so many people, is "How do you do it all?". And honestly, I used to just brush it off and laugh not really answering anyone, not because I thought I was too good for others or didn't want to help them do everything they wanted to do, but because I had never even thought about it, I just did it.

I live my life by being busy, and some say it's to hide from who I am and being "alone”, but I really love being alone. I've always been a writer, I love taking my own time and writing, really thinking, and feeling out my thoughts. I have struggled with my mental health for years and my journal has saved me many panic attacks and PTSD flashbacks. Being alone was scary at first and I hated it, but I have grown to love the silence and light my candle and think in a positive and productive way.

Beyond being alone there are several things I do on the daily basis. The most important to me is a simple easy to do list. You can ask my friends you'll find them all over, sticky notes, my computer or phone, an old receipt or even a napkin from work when I have nothing else. This simple step helps me see and organize my day. I usually do a basic one with the things I have to absolutely do that day, but I also normally build a deeper one with how long everything will take. I have a dedicated notebook for my TO DO lists where I break down my days, weeks, and months with goals and TO DO lists. This allows me to stay organize and able to plug everything into my calendar easier than if I did it off the top of my head. I also take time to create a good atmosphere for myself, doing skin care, showering, or watching an episode of Netflix. Regardless of the night I will take time to calm down. I also love to light candles and put my diffuser on.

Work can become a lot, especially when you feel overwhelmed by the rest of your life. I take my workdays to have fun with my coworkers and forget about whatever else is going on in my life. Although I could probably live off working around 30 hours, I continue to work 40. Many ask me why? Well, first because I have gotten so used to schedu

ling myself 40 hours (plus the 10 driving to/from work) changing that would change a lot of my other schedules. Secondly, I love the extra income it allows me to not worry about money so much and continue to save for other things or emergency funds. Lastly, it gets me doing something I normally do not have to use my brain for, it is a muscle memory, and I just must do the same things over and over, it allows me to become almost robotic for certain hours of my day.

I spent a certain amount of time studying is my next tip. For the first few weeks of school, I really crack down on myself and learn the ways my professors teach, where their information comes from and how to study for each individual class. (I can write a post about how to do all of this if you want me to!) These things allow me to spend less time learning and thinking about how to succeed in my classes and just doing it! I spend about 5 hours per classes per week (so about 25-30 hours a week over my 5 classes) and have felt confident in taking my exams and writing my papers. (I can also make a video going over my notes and how I set everything up, if someone wants it!)

Unfortunately, my club has taken the back burner in this whole mess of life, and although I run it, unless we have some participants or members joining in there isn’t really a club. I love what we stand for and love the fact we write for such a big journal, but Covid-19 has really impacted the club and members being motivated continuing to write (which in all honesty I think 99% of people feel this way around now). However, normally I would host zoom calls, write weekly letters, share writing topics, and work towards having fun meetups throughout the semester.

Apart from the things listed above I run several social media accounts, I’m sure many of you have found this blog from my Instagram (toriashleyyy) but I also run a photography account, health account (which I haven’t been doing anything on since my gym started remodeling) and of course a Tik Tok! Although I don’t spend unlimited hours on each of these a day, I love to post stories to my main Instagram, DM old friends or try to make new connections with accounts I find along the way. For the other 3 I just follow, like, comment and encourage. I believe connections are a huge thing when it comes to being social and running social media accounts. This tends to happen in the evenings when I’m relaxing, getting ready for bed, or eating dinner. Apart from this I spend about 2 hours on my social media a day, because with everything else going on I can’t stay distracted for too long (although Tik Tok is addicting, af!!)

As for a healthy relationship, I must give a shout-out to my AMAZING boyfriend who truly supports me with everything and anything, while helping me with my crazy ideas and downfall of mental health sometimes. We spend a lot of time together and are very similar (Aries babies). We never go to bed angry, and we try to talk all our feelings out as they happen (even though sometimes we take a few hours to ourselves). We understand that we both have different things we want to do and need to do, so we do our best to support each other and keep each other on track. I love our relationship dynamic and how we both want to learn and grow with each other. We have created a very healthy and understanding relationship where we both value each other and their time.

I will keep you updated on my CNA licensing in coming weeks when I complete it and have the papers in my hand! But this is something I have wanted to do for years and finally put my foot down, signed up and am completing something on my bucket list! I have in person classes on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays from 5:00pm to 11:00pm and online 2-4 hours Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Apart from all the good things I do and how much time I use of my day there are things that fall through the cracks. I don't hang out with my friends as much as I would like to, or even should be doing. I don't work out as much as I like, although when my gym opens back in, you'll see the gains again. Cooking has become one of my last things I think about. I'll get into this in one of my other blog posts, but I used to cook daily and now I choose the "faster" option, which isn't always the healthiest, especially since I try to only buy fast food or eating "out" about once a week.

I totally believe my lifestyle is healthy and makes me happy, however, everyone has different priorities and what a person wants to do with their lives varies. I make myself and the people I love my top priority and try to balance them with all the things I'm doing. My life follows a routine and keeps me healthy and happy while doing everything I need to do. Balance is key and I would tell anyone who asked that in order to balance your life you have to decide what is most important to you and what you are willing to give up in order to accomplish your dreams.